Frida Kahlo and the culture war over women’s pain

Kahlo was so talented and her life was so remarkable and so miserable; much of her art focused on her intense, constant physical pain, and the psychological effects it clearly had on her. As I opened the door to leave, I felt grateful for having witnessed such talent, but overwhelmed by the rawness of what had been on show.

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Within seconds, I switched to feeling bemused instead. Of course, the Tate was always going to sell some merch for one of its biggest shows of the year, but how dissonant it felt to walk through the shop and find Frida socks, a Frida make-up bag, Frida mugs and Frida everything else. Somehow it felt like whoever had arranged the displays had forgotten to go see the show, as surely anyone who’d witnessed her art couldn’t possibly have decided to try and flog all this tat.

The second event occurred as I left, and read a piece in the Times which shamed young women who use walking sticks and other mobility aids to get around. You never used to see many youths with those, the columnist argued, and so surely the dangerous, woke internet had something to do with it. Couldn’t these girls see their bodies were healthy, and the illness resided in their silly little brains instead?

Finally, I sat down and exhaled deeply as I leaned my back against a wall. I have joint hypermobility syndrome, which means that my joints are looser than they ought to be, leaving my muscles to work arguably too hard to keep me standing up, or sitting on chairs without backs. I was diagnosed with it at 16, as apparently teenagers aren’t meant to suffer from flare-ups of excruciating joint pain, and have been managing it ever since.

The condition is mostly better now that I keep myself trim, but when I was heavier, there were times when my knees hurt so much that I couldn’t stand to walk up a single flight of stairs. I never used a mobility aid, but should I have done so? Would the newspaper of record have mocked me then? I was only 23 when it happened – surely I would have been making it up for attention?

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I took the tube home and thought about the afternoon I’d just had. I was bowled over by Kahlo’s show because women’s pain is so rarely portrayed with such unflinching honesty, but it shouldn’t be surprising that so few women decide to be so open with the reality of their bodies. Chances are that people will only mock them if they do, or commodify their work and lives in whatever way they can. Sometimes, they may even do both.

I can’t pretend to know what Kahlo went through as my physical troubles are so minor in comparison to hers, but I do know what it feels like to know that you just can’t always rely on your own body. It’s unpleasant and stifling, and ought to inspire kindness instead of judgement. 

If I ever do end up needing to use a cane to walk, though, you best believe I’ll go shake it in the direction of the Times newsroom at least once. It’s the least they deserve.