At a campaign rally on Monday night, the president of the United States set out perhaps the most innovative foreign policy suggestion ever proposed by a leader of the US – that a foreign power should be allowed to blow the place up.
Delivering a huge buffet of his traditional word salad to a jubilant crowd in Grand Island, Nebraska, as part of his mid-term election campaign, Trump told the crowd, “and again, remember, with the word – just, artificial – it’s a little bit high – it’s a small price to pay for keeping the world safe, keeping our country safe.”
The crowd murmured in agreement. But then the Trump random word generator got its act together and delivered the lines that caused the room – and the entire country – to sit up and take notice.
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Appearing to turn to the subject of the Iran war, which he started and of which he has now completely lost control, Trump told the Nebraskan Maga faithful: “They can take out a city. Let ’em take out Los Angeles, let ’em take out San Diego – this is a very small price to pay, and it’s going to be over with very soon.”
Hearing this, the crowd cheered.
It’s not entirely clear that urging a foreign state to wipe out American cities is the vote-winner Trump seems to imagine. But then, as became quite clear at several points during the evening, Trump’s imagination is throwing out a load of wild stuff at the moment.
Having mooed to the crowd about a new law he was bringing in about diesel prices, Trump shouted offstage to his personal assistant and current favourite, Natalie Harp, who is blonde and in her 30s. “Bring it out,” he shouted at her. “I’ll sign it right here.”
Harp then sprung onto the stage, beaming at the crowd and waving a black presidential clipboard in the air, to the chants of “USA – USA.”
“Should I sign it, or not,” Trump asked the audience, by now in full panto mode, and having signed the new laws about diesel into existence, he threw his pen into the crowd.
The document signed, Harp left the stage, and as she did so Trump stared long and hard, watching her walk away. It was obvious from his rigid facial expression that he was thinking about something. And then came the weirdness:
“She reminds me like, The Price is Right,” said Trump, referring wistfully to the popular US day-time TV programme. “‘Thank you Natalie, come on’. This perfect person comes up, hands it, walks off,” he said, as the crowd cheered. “We should go on television with this show, right?”
What Trump seemed to miss was that, at the very moment he spoke those words, he was in fact already on live TV, being beamed across the continental United States.
But what he also failed to grasp was that The Price is Right has, for decades now, been shot at Studio 33 at Television City, which happens to be in, er, Los Angeles.
So if Iran does wipe out the Californian city, as Trump seems to want, his favourite game show would go with it. “Shahed drones, come on dow
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