Reform have already lost 15 of the councillors newly elected for the party on May 7 – with more reportedly poised to resign. But which of these 30 reasons for their departures are true, and which have we made up?
1) Found out they couldn’t work from home.
2) Urged supporters “get rid of that disgusting filthy building”, in a post on X showing four different photos of the Brighton Pavilion.
3) Claimed to have been held back in his career by an international conspiracy of globalist Quakers.
4) Got bored.
5) Ended a BBC interview with a rousing chorus of Tomorrow Belongs To Me from Cabaret.
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6) Described Muslims as variously “awful,” “dirt” and “rats” while describing white people as “the master race” who have “larger brains”.
7) Failed to mention that he already worked for the council.
8) Refused to disclose full name or address on the grounds that he’s a “freeman of the land”.
9) Swastika tattoo.
10) Because of woke.
11) Found to have extensive collection of anatomically correct gollywogs.
12) Actually voted Remain.
13) Suggested the best solution to the small boats crisis was “a volley of gunfire”, thus implying an ignorance of criminal, maritime and human rights law all at once.
14) Accidentally resident in Belize.
15) Mostly just couldn’t be arsed to show up.
16) Met new colleagues, immediately seized by regret.
17) Turned out to be living a double life, producing erotic gay content on OnlyFans.
18) Turned out to be fictional.
19) Discovered to be a subscriber to The New World (and who could blame her, given the current opportunity to get one month of quality journalism for just £1).
20) Quit to sit as a “Stand Alone Independent”, presumably because cooler names like “Lone Wolf” or “Maverick, Who Don’t Play By The Rules” were vetoed by the Electoral Commission.
21) Repeatedly faced rejection when requesting to add Zia Yusuf to her LinkedIn network.
22) Despite running on a law and order platform, was convicted and fined just before the election of throwing a woman in her 60s to the floor.
23) Revealed to have been spying for the Prussians.
24) Suggested Nigerians could be melted down to fill in potholes.
25) Realised he actually just really, really liked Keir Starmer.
26) Every quote in election literature traced back to the character of Rorschach from Alan Moore’s Watchmen.
27) Died, 30 years ago.
28) Resigned in protest at the party’s poor vetting processes and the mounting cost of the resulting series of by-elections.
29) Realised that actually being badly paid to take responsibility for the underfunded social care system that’s meant to look after your nan while being personally blamed for every unfixed pothole, closed library or bin strike that happens within three miles of your home is not as fun as it looked.
30) Angry about bins.
True: 4, 6, 7, 13, 15, 17, 20, 24.
9 and 22 are partially true – the people involved are still Reform councillors.
