Will Patel cash in over Atlantic allegations?

Kash Patel – ninth director of the FBI, podcaster and real-life Tom Haverford from Parks and Recreation – has learned from his boss that if the media displeases you, sue them for a randomly-chosen and absurdly high sum of money.

Patel, last seen in Rats in a Sack designing, commissioning and wearing his own customised Nike footwear, has launched a $250 million lawsuit against the Atlantic magazine after it suggested that, among many other things, he was frequently away from work and drank to excess.

The article, by Atlantic staffer Sarah Fitzpatrick, claims that “some of Patel’s colleagues at the FBI worry that his personal behavior has become a threat to public safety” and details apparently well-sourced (and, indeed, sauced) sojourns at fleshpots including Washington, DC private club Ned’s and “the Poodle Room, in Las Vegas, where he frequently spends parts of his weekends”.

“Early in his tenure, meetings and briefings had to be rescheduled for later in the day as a result of his alcohol-fueled nights, six current and former officials and others familiar with Patel’s schedule told me,” says the article.

Patel, for his part, denies all allegations, accusing the magazine of publishing false and damaging claims about his conduct in office. He told Fox News on Sunday: “The Atlantic’s story is a lie. They were given the truth before they published, and they chose to print falsehoods anyway.

“I took this job to protect the American people and this FBI has delivered the most prolific reduction in crime in US history. Fake news won’t report it, and their toxicity will never erode nor stop our mission.” (Many criminologists argue that the admittedly large crime drop was already a fully developed trend before Patel took office.)

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He has now launched the massive lawsuit in the manner of boss Donald Trump, who is still pursuing a $10 billion claim against the BBC over its Panorama cock-up despite many observers believing that a recent similar victory over the presenter by the Wall Street Journal raised the likelihood his action against the BBC would also fail. The WSJ’s victory upheld the long-standing principle that US defamation claimants must prove actual malice.

Patel’s action, meanwhile, comes after he faced questions about his use of the FBI’s private jet to attend performances by his girlfriend, an aspiring country singer, something which he has defended by saying he doesn’t attend all of her concerts.

“It’s ironic that they’re saying ‘oh, you’re going on vacation, you’re going to see your girlfriend perform’ and, if I was actually abusing it, I would go see every one of her shows. I think I get to, like, 15%,” he said by way of justification to The Katie Miller Podcast (a show hosted by a former Trump administration official and wife of Homeland Security advisor Stephen Miller).

And it comes just weeks after Patel turned up in the locker room of the US ice hockey team despite Ben Williamson, assistant director for public affairs at the FBI and spinner for its ludicrous director, having berated journalists who had said he was heading to Italy for the final.

Williamson, enraged at the suggestion his boss might be off to watch the icy bash-up at taxpayers’ expense, wrote to one correspondent, MSNOW’s Ken Dilanian: “Your rag outlet wrote that he went to hang out at the Olympics on the taxpayer dime – even when provided information that your theory was false. When you’re ready to correct that let me know. Won’t hold my breath.”

The following day, Patel was in the team’s Milan locker room, wearing a full kit and chugging a beer.