I do... think that Britain is broken

“Huge congratulations from everyone at Reform UK to Richard Tice and Isabel Oakeshott on their marriage yesterday,” posted the party on X at the weekend, celebrating their deputy leader getting hitched to its favourite journalist.

The pair got married at the Chapel of St Mary Undercroft in the Palace of Westminster, a wedding venue strictly restricted to MPs, peers, children of peers and “qualifying parliamentary personnel” (Politico reported “some illicit confetti-throwing in the crypt that parliamentary authorities may have got a little miffed about”).

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It is not known how many of Tice’s scrapping colleagues were invited along. Robert Jenrick, who is not thought to be his bestie, did manage a “Congratulations Richard & Isabel” post on X complete with ring emoji, while Zia Yusuf, who doesn’t get on with either of them, spent the day posting about foreign nationals on benefits.

And even the happy couple spent their first night together as man and wife performing their favourite act – whingeing on social media. Having apparently encountered some problems en route to their honeymoon destination/back home to Dubai, Tice posted: “British Airways is an embarrassing disgrace of an airline. Routinely selling many more tickets than seats, putting lots of passengers on standby who bought tickets months ago, a woeful customer attitude of ‘shrug shrug, not my job’.

“Then not sending the luggage of standby passengers: one case may arrive on next flight an hour later, 1 case shrug shrug wait until tomorrow afternoon when it may or may not arrive. Britain is Broken.”

(It is not clear how any of this proves Britain is Broken given that British Airways was privatised in 1987. Perhaps it’s Reform policy to renationalise it?).