Back in 2019, then Brexit Party leader Nigel Farage, double-jobbing as a presenter on cabbie’s favourite LBC, was delighted when a caller phoned in to thank him for his sterling work wrenching Britain out of the EU.
“I’m grateful to you for everything you’ve ever done in British politics over the last few years,” gushed the caller, Mark. “I used to be an ardent Remainer, I voted Remain, I believed in the European project.
“I believed that staying in the European Union was the best thing for us, and then something happened and… something monumental happened and it completely changed my opinion on the whole situation.”
“What was the monumental thing, Mark?” wondered Farage.
“I was kicked in the head by a horse,” responded Mark. “Right, very good, OK, fine” responded Farage, before cutting Mark off immediately.
Almost exactly seven years later, it appears politics-puncturing head injuries are still rampant on the streets of Britain after Laila Cunningham, Reform’s candidate for mayor of London in 2028, stepped into the presenting chair at LBC.
A caller, also called Mark – albeit this time with a Northern Ireland accent – phoned in to tell her he had switched his support directly from the Green Party to Reform.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!” whoaed Cunningham. “Now I was not expecting that on the bingo card. That is… that is… that is a… that is a transition, Mark. Tell me, are you happy? Welcome.”
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“I feel very welcome, yes,” said Mark.
“Tell me why you switched to us. Now, I know why you’d leave the Greens for sure, because, you know, they seem to be a very anti-Semitic party. I know lots of Jewish people who do not feel safe when they live in Green-controlled councils. But why have you switched?”
“Well,” said Mark. “It started randomly when I fell down the stairs and hit my head.”
“Oh,” said Cunningham. “Erm… well.”
Reform: converting the nation to their politics, one life-altering head injury at a time!
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