1. Last autumn, in an extremely subtle and hard to interpret metaphor about the state of US politics, Donald Trump bulldozed a chunk of the White House. The lack of a sufficiently large venue had forced presidents past to hold state dinners outside in specially constructed tents – so Trump, who hates to look silly in the eyes of the world, decided the solution was a new, bigger ballroom.
Since then, the proposed cost of the project has jumped from $200m to nearly $400m. But while Trump (“after deep-rooted studies”) has credited the increase to it being both “twice the size, and a far higher quality, than the original proposal”, neither of these improvements are obviously visible on the plans.
And despite promises that the scheme would be privately funded, Republicans in Congress have proposed to spend $1bn on “missile-resistant steel columns”, “drone-proof ceilings” and other security measures. Democrats’ claims that this is money for a “vanity project” seem unfair. It’s not like anyone wants the president to die.
2. Trump has also instructed contractors to repaint the bottom of the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool (the big watery thing between the tall pointy bit and the beardy statue guy), so as to make sure it’s “American Flag Blue”. The pool is big (167 feet wide, 2,030 feet long, the volume of six Olympic-size swimming pools); it leaks (it isn’t supposed to); and there’s a deadline (America’s 250th birthday, in barely a month’s time) – a situation which, as anyone who has ever tried to hire an emergency plumber can confirm, tends to rack up the costs.
Even so, the inflation of the cost from under $2m to over $13m has raised a few eyebrows. So has the fact the successful contractor didn’t have to bid. The New York Times reported that, while profit margin on projects such as this normally stand at 6-12%, this one will yield 20%, plus another 20% for unidentified overheads. But at least the bottom of a pond won’t be slightly the wrong shade of blue.
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3. The reflecting pool paint job is far from the only Washington beautification contract that’s been awarded without going through any of the hassle of a competitive bidding process. Last week the New Republic reported that the administration was spending $5m on painting four bronze horses near the Lincoln Memorial gold. Said horses, which haven’t been restored since the 1970s, are officially called the Arts of War and Arts of Peace – a reminder that Americans were quite capable of being tacky long before Trump arrived.
4. Other ways in which the president has brought his unique personal sense of style to bear on Washington have included: promising to repaint the grey granite of the Eisenhower Executive Office Building bright white, against legal objections from the DC Preservation League and Cultural Heritage Partners, on the grounds that “grey is for funerals”; repainting the gold pillars of the Kennedy Center white (not everything, apparently, looks better in gold); changing the name of the Kennedy Center to the “Donald J Trump and John F Kennedy Memorial Center for the Performing Arts,” until ordered to change it back by a federal judge, at which point he announced he’d lost interest; replacing the lawn of the Rose Garden with a patio; proposing a triumphal arch (“Arc de Trump”) which, at 250 feet – one foot per year of the American Republic – would be 50% bigger than the Arc de Triomphe.
5. Sadly unlikely to be a permanent addition to the Washington skyline is the 4,000-seat MMA arena currently being built on the South Lawn under the name “The Claw”. This is for a special UFC event to be held on June 14 – the president’s 80th birthday, suggesting that it’s a present to himself. Tickets, alas, are not available to the general public.
6. DC natives sad about that can take comfort from the fact they’ll at least be spared the most garish monument to Donald Trump’s very normal ego: the 22-foot gold-plated statue of the president with an upraised fist will instead adorn a Trump golf course in Doral, Florida. “Let me be clear,” the evangelical pastor Mark Burns told the unveiling ceremony, “this is not a golden calf.” Americans concerned about idolatry can sleep easy in their beds. Those concerned about the market price of gold paint, alas, may have more reason to worry.
