Satire

MITCH BENN is dreading the end of lockdown. Here he wonders why so many other people aren’t. I have a small confession to make. In fact it might not even be that small; I can’t really tell. Certainly I’m nervous as I type this but here goes: I’m really dreading lockdown ending. I’m aware that […]

MITCH BENN on the Boris Johnson and Donald Trump supporters who can no longer defend their leader. It’s not often that I feel sympathy for Donald Trump. Actually I’d like to revise that statement; it’s never that I feel sympathy for Donald Trump. Whatever misfortunes he may fleetingly suffer he has invariably brought upon himself […]

The government no longer exists, writes MITCH BENN. In its place, we have a PR machine. I’ve come to something of a realisation in the last week or so: we do not, at this moment, have a government in the country. We have a prime minister, when he can be bothered to turn up; we […]

Statues and monuments have an inherent context, writes MITCH BENN. They honour and elevate people and it’s legitimate to take down those we no longer respect. Like most of you, with the exception of some readers in Bristol, I’ve learned more about the 17th-18th century slave trading magnate (and, not that this changes anything, civic […]

With the US leader likely to face a plethora of investigations and possible legal proceedings the moment he is no longer a sitting president, MITCH BENN wonders if Trump might use national crisis as an excuse to delay this November’s election. The trouble with populism is that it’s empty. It’s like a slick advertisement advertising […]

MITCH BENN on the Durham dash that has everybody talking. So anyway, one day I woke up and thought do you know, I’m feeling a bit wobbly; in fact I’m not sure my sense of balance is everything it should be. Rather than take any chances, I decided to test just how good my sense […]

MITCH BENN reflects on last weekend’s coronavirus lockdown protests in Hyde Park. For someone who’s ostensibly got nothing to do at the moment I seem to be weirdly busy. If anything I’ve been over-committing myself; I’ve actually had to back out of a couple of projects for which I’d volunteered in a burst of enthusiasm […]

While our TV news is still fairly responsible, according to MITCH BENN, our newspapers are even worse for bias and recklessness than their American counterparts. There’s a sort of numbness setting in now, isn’t there? A hollow, aching, weary resignation punctuated by periods of gnawing dread (and perhaps searing grief) when the virus’s crosshairs hover […]

MITCH BENN says it will be up to those of us left standing to ensure the lessons are learned, and it will involve fighting the very powerful to make sure it happens. First of all, many thanks to those of you who sent messages of support and condolence after last week’s column; Harry’s family send […]

MITCH BENN on a death which represents far more than a statistic. I met Harry McFarlane in the late summer of 2018, when my girlfriend Leslie – Harry’s granddaughter – and I called in at her old hometown of Prestwick on our way back from that year’s Edinburgh Festival. Harry was on good form that […]

MITCH BENN issues a musical call-to-arms to a country under the coronavirus curfew. Mitch Benn’s song and video urged people to stay in during coronavirus. Picture: Contributed – Credit: Archant On the one hand, envisaging into what sort of post-Covid world we might one day emerge, fat and blinking, seems like the most exquisite form […]

Shining humour on to dark times, comedian MITCH BENN says if this was The Walking Dead, he would skip ahead. First of all, I hope this finds you safe, well and still relatively sane. I know the waggish thing to do at the moment is to draw satirical comparison between our current plight and the […]

With Boris Johnson belatedly raising his game, MITCH BENN’s attention turns to ‘horrifyingly fascinatiing’ behaviour of his US counterpart. How are we all holding up? I do hope you’re all well, safe and still relatively sane. I won’t ask if you’re all behaving yourselves and staying indoors, since that decision is no longer ours to […]

MITCH BENN issues some rousing words on the coronavirus fight – and how it has changed our foucs. So, how are we all doing? I do hope that everyone is finding quarantine as unstressful as possible and that the only fever any of you is registering is the figurative ‘cabin’ variety. I myself am actually […]

Recent news reports the world over have been littered with coverage over panic-buying to prepare for self-isolation, with toilet roll high on the list. MITCH BENN sheds light on how the clear-outs start. I’m a big fan of the ‘discount’ supermarket chain Aldi (other Germanic discount supermarket chains are available. Well one other is anyway). […]

MITCH BENN says the right-wing media’s reaction to the prime minister’s announcement is hypocritical. So, our prime minister has announced having conceived a child “out of wedlock”, as our recent ancestors might have tersely put it, while still at least technically married to his last wife (one is given to understand that a divorce has […]

It’s not just turning 50 that has made MITCH BENN want to get in shape. He’s dreams of watching the wheels fall off the Brexit bandwagon. I’ve started going to the gym again. There are a few reasons for this: firstly, I’ve found a local gym which is run by and in aid of a […]

MITCH BENN on the tragic death of television presenter Caroline Flack – and how we all played a part in the media’s involvement. I wasn’t really that aware of Caroline Flack; I realise what a tiresomely bourgeois and pretentious-sounding thing that is to say right now, but it does become relevant, so bear with me. […]

A bridge over the Irish Sea is never going to happen, says MITCH BENN. So what are we being distracted from? Of all the many kinds of lie one hears over the course of one’s life, be they personal, professional or political, perhaps the most depressing lies are the ones that not even the liar […]

MITCH BENN ponders if the UK is willing to sit by and watch the country become Trump’s Britain. Well I don’t know about you but I feel freer already. Seriously though, is it just me or does post-‘Got Brexit Done’ Britain thus far feel a lot like pre-‘Got Brexit Done’ Britain did? As if nothing […]

As MITCH BENN neither celebrates nor commiserates the big moment, he has a special message for Remainers, Brexiteers and our fellow Europeans. So how are you going to spend tonight? I’ll be working, I expect; such is the life of the jobbing comedian. This ‘profession’ is the graveyard of friendships and relationships; our job hours […]

Birthday boy MITCH BENN comes up with a proposal to help take the heat out of our polarised times. There’s always a bit of a balancing act to being a columnist; on the one hand you’ve been engaged by the publication you’re writing for to provide your own personal ‘take’ on things and it’s to […]

MITCH BENN says that immigration is not the drain on the NHS that some claim it to be – but, in fact, a vital part of it. Before I begin, a quick heads-up: at about the 200-word mark of this column I’m going to say something which, at first glance, might look a bit racist. […]

The only thing that hasn’t changed since the election is Boris Johnson, argues MITCH BENN. So how do Remain regroup and go forward? As you may recall, I left last week’s column on a cliffhanger, saying I’d been thinking about things we – as in the Remain movement – could still do in this new […]

MITCH BENN will continue to be a ‘sore loser’ in 2020 because his views on Brexit have not changed – regardless of the general election result. Okay, so that sucked. Not Christmas; I should point that out. I can’t speak for anyone else but I had a good Christmas, indeed, judging by the fact I […]

After a dramatic 12 months, here is STEVE ANGLESEY’S lowdown of the losers who ended up winning. 20 CHARLOTTE GILL A Brexiteer journalist for the Sun, Telegraph and Mail on Sunday, Gill appeared to call for the end of satire after the general election, tweeting “I can’t believe Have I Got News For You is […]

The general election is a big important part of the battle for the Remain movement – but the war won’t be over on Friday morning. I know the home stretch going into an election is supposed to be all about clarity and unity of purpose, and the last thing you want to be presented with […]

Seizing an opportunity to defeat Boris Johnson could instigate a new era of political free-thinking, according to Mitch Benn. Boris Johnson is a liar and a coward. Once more for the people in the back row: BORIS JOHNSON IS A LIAR AND A COWARD. Now, in previous eras this might have been thought sufficient reason […]

MITCH BENN on doing everything he can to make sure politicians don’t ruin his Christmas without a fight. I’m breaking one of my own cardinal rules this year. Generally I operate an absolute embargo on anything Christmas-related until December 1. Obviously one can’t entirely avoid any mention of Christmas during November, or indeed October (or, […]

Sci-fi fan MITCH BENN on what his hero Douglas Adams would have to say about politics today Whoever came up with the expression “You must never meet your heroes; they’ll always disappoint you” had dreadful taste in heroes. I’ve been lucky enough to meet quite a few of my heroes over the years and by […]

With Donald Trump and Boris Johnson up for election, MITCH BENN looks at just how untouchable they are The word ‘mistake’ has two principal uses, related but definitely distinct. It can mean an involuntary error, a slip-up, a blooper, a typo… something you didn’t want to do or intend to do, but did anyway through […]

MITCH BENN on why there are no safe seats in this election and uses Richmond Park to defend tactical voting. It’s utterly absurd that while I’ve been writing this column for a little over three years now, not only is this the second general election I’ve had to cover in that time, but that previous […]