Will Boney M sing for Reform UK?

As a German-founded disco group whose original line-up hailed from Jamaica, Montserrat and Aruba, Boney M may seem an unlikely fit to be the house band of Reform UK – but that is who is currently being lined up to perform at their annual conference this autumn.

It has emerged that the band are in talks with Nigel Farage and co to play at the Friday night after-party at their conference in Birmingham, which takes place at the start of September.

It follows a surprise appearance at last year’s conference from Marlon and Jackie of The Jacksons, who performed songs including Blame it on the Boogie and Can You Feel It for the assembled troops.

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A Reform spokesperson told website PoliticsHome: “Several exciting acts are under consideration for our conference after-party. This will be confirmed and announced in due course.”

It is not entirely clear which version of Boney M will turn up in Birmingham, since the band have been tied up in decades of legal wrangles over who owns the name. At one point, four separate Boney Ms, all featuring different previous members, were performing legally after a spate of nasty fall-outs. Sounds perfect for Reform UK, then, whose leading figures are increasingly at each other’s throats!

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But it’s sad news for Andrea Jenkyns, the mayor of Greater Lincolnshire, who must have thought she had secured the headline spot after opening last year’s conference in a sparkly blue jumpsuit with her own self-penned ditty, Insomniac (“I’m an insomniac, I’m an insomniac/Staring at the ceiling, waiting for my thoughts to switch off”).

What songs may Boney M perform for the Reform masses this time? Daddy Cool, given that Daddy is the preferred soubriquet for Nigel Farage from his criminal benefactor, Posh George? Rasputin, for Farage’s shadowy senior advisor James Orr?

Hooray! Hooray! It’s a Holi-Holiday, for Farage and Richard Tice, who spend much of their time away from their constituencies in America and Dubai respectively? Or, more likely, the one which sums up pretty much their only policy: Gotta Go Home.