Zia Yusuf on the trail of the amazing disappearing migrants

As a surge of arrivals swam into the Spanish exclave of Ceuta late last week, shaking Europe politically, Reform’s hilariously self-regarding ‘shadow home secretary’ Zia Yusuf set off for the North African coast to try and draw attention from the slew of stories about the party’s opaque finances.

Arriving in the autonomous city last Thursday morning, Yusuf inevitably took straight to X to share a video apparently showing a couple of dozen men leaving what appeared to be a mini-market, posting: “The 50,000 invaders that stormed Spanish territory yesterday are now marauding through Ceuta. Breaking into homes. Looting stores.

“Half of the migrants regularised in Spain do NOT stay there. They move on. They are coming to Britain. WE MUST SECURE OUR BORDERS NOW.”

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Leaving aside that they were not in mainland Spain – Ceuta is an autonomous city of Spain on the North African coast – let alone the question of quite how they were coming to Britain, given the miles of dangerous seas in between, poor Zia must have been gutted by what came next.

Not long after his arrival, the overwhelming majority had been returned to Morocco, escorted to the border by Spanish soldiers and police. As the BBC report put it: “Without food or shelter, and with no way on to continental Europe, most quickly turned back.” So how would he react to that?

“In Ceuta I saw thousands of Spanish soldiers deployed to defend its border from the illegal migrant invasion,” he harrumphed on X.

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“Dozens of Armoured Units mobilised include the 54th Ceuta Regulars Group, the 2nd Legion Tercio ‘Duque de Alba’, and the 3rd Cavalry Regiment ‘Montesa’.

“I saw them use force where necessary. The militarisation of the border has stopped the flow and successfully sent the majority back. Spain is a signatory to the ECHR. They have a far left government. Why did the Tories and Labour never protect Britain’s borders?”

What with them having already gone back, Yusuf – normally so social media-savvy – didn’t even have an image to terrify Reform’s supporters with. Still, at least he was back in time to see the Sunday Times’s latest Reform splash that day – not, as he would have hoped, on his fact-finding mission to the North African coast, but on claims that, contrary to his previous claims, Nigel Farage had struck a secret deal to return as party leader months before the general election.