Problem Page: I cried at work. What should I do?

Keith has always told me he’s “100% behind me,” but at a big staff meeting — when some people began blaming me for the fallout — he pointedly failed to defend me. I felt humiliated and, to my horror, ended up crying in the meeting. Nobody said anything, but I’m fairly sure people noticed.

Now I feel totally betrayed. I’m beginning to wonder if Keith is really the man of integrity and accountability I once believed in. I’m also worried my job may be at risk. What should I do?

“Raquelle”

Dear Raquelle,

Ah, yes — the timeless workplace manoeuvre called “strategic abandonment”. Otherwise known as being thrown under the bus.

You’re right to feel betrayed. This isn’t just poor leadership — it’s gutless. I’d wager this isn’t the first time he’s made a bold commitment and then quietly reversed course the moment it became personally inconvenient. People who proclaim themselves to be “men of principle” often have a curious knack for vanishing at the precise moment their principles are most needed.

You say you’re worried about your job. Is there any history of Keith letting women take the fall while he preserves his own standing? If he’s sacked others to save his skin, especially women, take that as a pattern — not a coincidence. Men who talk a lot about “empowering women” are often very keen on the theory, less keen on the practice.

You ask what you should do. First: if you’re not already in a union, join one immediately. They can be effective at putting a stop to this kind of behaviour. You’ve just had an inkling of how your loyalty is rewarded in your workplace — and it’s not with gratitude.

As for crying in public, don’t worry about it. I am quite sure anyone who might have noticed will empathise with you. They will almost certainly think your boss is a bit of a tool.

Yours,
Commons Senses