Pro-incest Tory takes on scourge of... lollipop ladies

Earlier this year Rats in a Sack introduced you to Charles Amos, a young Conservative activist who the Times profiled but neglected to mention that he also campaigns for the legalisation of incest.

Now the 26-year-old has been given a platform by Conservative Home, the in-house digital organ of the Tory party, not on his passion for allowing siblings to sleep together, but why Kemi Badenoch’s party needs to turn on the menace that is… lollipop ladies.

In an article headlined ‘The case against lollipop ladies’, Amos argues that “the effectiveness of lollipop ladies in reducing traffic accidents is disputable at best; and, besides, children’s safety is not the be all and end all of public policy anyway”.

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“Society must face up to the fact the optimum number of children killed by cars is above zero,” he writes. “Even if lollipop ladies do reduce accidents among children however that alone does not warrant their existence: lollipop ladies need to pass a cost benefit analysis.” The Oxford graduate calculates that lollipop ladies are costing the British state a not-exactly-budget-busting £7 million a year.

“At this point mothers will be shocked by the coldness of cost benefit analysis, ‘You can’t put a price on life!’, they will say,” he muses. “Such a statement is a refusal to face up to reality. For a start, what does it even mean? Does it mean nothing can be given up for it? If life were infinitely valuable that would imply we should reduce the speed limit to zero mph. Bonkers.”

Bonkers indeed, and too much even for some of the crackpots who populate the Conservative Home comments section, where responses include ‘Is this satire or are you the most obvious Labour troll?’, ‘Is it April 1st already?’ and simply ‘R U OK, Hun?’.

Perhaps Amos would do better to stick to the far less controversial hobby horse of incest!