My brilliant day out with Nigel Farage, by the Daily Express's political editor

Very few readers of the Daily Express’s website have signed up to its ‘Premium’ service, which gives its users access to four or five exclusive articles a day otherwise hidden behind a paywall. Which means they will have missed political editor Martyn Brown posting online his application to be Reform UK’s chief press officer.

Brown offered readers an absurdly sycophantic account of a day spent with leader Nigel Farage, written with all the wide-eyed wonder of an eight-year-old boy meeting Harry Kane and gushing at length about the Reform leader’s energy, diet and teasing conversation.

Under the ‘EXCLUSIVE’ banner, Brown marvels how spending a day with the Turquoise Tory leader “is an intoxicating assault on the senses. It tests your stamina to the limit and puts your constitution through the kind of ordeal that only the hardiest can withstand.

“Astronauts aboard the Artemis II Moon mission have been training for years for the rigours of this latest history-making lunar flight. But I bet they’d struggle to do a day on the campaign trail with the Reform UK leader. He, however, takes it all in his stride.”

The Express man gets to travel to Norfolk on a supporter-funded private jet, Farage “gazing out the window”, with “his close-knit and loyal advisers clearly enjoying the white-knuckle ride provided by a leader who reaches parts of the electorate quite like [sic] any other politician”.

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He’s also there as Farage attends an event for many of the party’s council candidates in East Anglia, marveling at the effect this incredible man has on them. “He poses for photos with each and everyone of the 50-plus candidates, which clearly means the world to most of them who have never seen him in the flesh before,” writes Brown.

“‘He truly is an inspiration, he’s going to change everything for the better,’ one candidate confides to me.” Cripes! What a scoop!

“And so begins his speech, a flawless masterclass without notes or an autocue, in which he whips the audience of mostly ‘Reform curious’ voters into a frenzy,” Brown goes on as his hero takes to his feet.

Then it’s back on the plane to London, as Brown gets a front-row seat to see how this wonderful man kicks back and relaxes after a hard day on the campaign trail. “Sitting opposite me on the plane, his weathered Barbour coat slung over his lap, Farage is mocked by his team as he pulls out a cheese and pickle sandwich he’d stashed away from earlier to eat with a glass of red wine.

“‘Proper sandwich,’ he says.”

Proper hagiography! Give that man a job immediately!