Mandelson avoids at least one leak enquiry

It has been a grim few days for Peter Mandelson – out of the Labour Party, out of the House of Lords, almost certainly out of British public life forever and facing potentially serious criminal charges.

Still, there’s one bit of good news: he isn’t going to face any further action after urinating against George Osborne’s neighbour’s front wall after attending an agreeable dinner at the former chancellor’s house last year!

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The ex-US ambassador was being probed by the local council after being photographed utilising the wall in Notting Hill after Osborne’s dinner party. The Daily Mail, which published the photos, said he was relieving himself while waiting for an Uber, something Mandelson confirmed in an interview with the Times this week when he said: “People said it was very humanising. I didn’t quite feel that myself. I just blame Uber.

“I had two cars, both of which cancelled on me, and after half an hour I was bursting for a pee. I could have gone back and woken them all up, but they did have three children.”

Now, though, the Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea Council said it would not be taking any enforcement action due to a “lack of evidence”, with the published pictures “not showing an offence”. At least that’s one leak enquiry which has cleared Mandelson – he might not be so lucky with the rest…