Labour's football analogy is not a Real good one

As senior Labour figures gathered at London’s swanky £2,100-a-year Conduit Club last night for a do hosted by one of the party’s few remaining big donors, one could be forgiven for wondering quite what’s in the water at Downing Street.

At the drinks reception held by businessman and party donor Gary Lubner, Labour’s last big donor having made a fortune as global boss of Autoglass, the South African appeared to admit the party’s electoral troubles, describing them as being “3-0 down at half-time”.

To which deputy leader Lucy Powell replied in a speech that, like her beloved Manchester City, they might be 3-0 down but would come back to win. At that point City were about to kick off in the second leg of their Champions League last 16 clash to Real Madrid, having shipped three unanswered goals in the first match.

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Alas for Powell and her analogy, by the end of the evening City had seen influential midfielder Bernardo Silva sent off and had lost 2-1 at home, crashing out of the competition 5-1 on aggregate. Now that’s the kind of result you can expect Keir Starmer to match at the May elections!

In her own speech, No 10 joint interim chief of staff Vidhya Alakeson claimed Downing Street was the best run it had ever been. Perhaps she meant “most run” as the third/fourth person to occupy that particular hot seat in Sir Keir’s 20 months in charge?

Lubner, a philanthropist who has also made a number of other altruistic investments in organisations including Brentford FC and the Observer newspaper, is a regular host of networking events for Labour figures. Half the cabinet were in attendance last night, including Starmer’s key enforcers Pat McFadden and Darren Jones. But who will be next to see a red card?