AI actress Tilly is pointless and silly

Last year Xicoia, the AI division of production company Particle6 Group, foisted upon the world Tilly Norwood – an AI-generated actress which it boasted could cut the cost of making films by 90%, what with real-life actors insisting on fripperies such as being paid, eating and whatnot.

Eline Van der Velden, the founder of the company, said she intended Norwood to be the next Scarlett Johansson or Natalie Portman and told Variety that audiences were more interested in a film’s story than whether its actors were real. “They care about the story – not whether the star has a pulse. Tilly is already attracting interest from talent agencies and fans,” she insisted.

Alas for Van der Velden, poor Tilly was instantly rounded on by most creatives in the entertainment industry, what with threatening jobs, being constructed from the images of hundreds of nameless young women, having no agency and possessing roughly one per cent of the charm of computer-generated ‘80s irritant Max Headroom (ask your parents, kids). Emily Blunt described Norwood as “really, really scary”.

Now, alas, Tilly is back, this time launching a pop career. Her debut single, Take The Lead, has just been released on YouTube, an instantly forgettable ditty featuring lyrics such as “It’s the next evolution, can’t you see?/AI’s not the enemy, it’s the key” while the collection of pixels wanders a Grand Theft Auto-style London accompanied by, for no discernible reason, an army of flamingos.

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“They say it’s not real, that it’s fake/But I am still human, make no mistake,” warbles Tilly, who is very much not real, fake and not human. She – or more, likely, Van der Velden – posts under the video: “Can’t wait to go to the Oscars! Does anyone know if they have free valet parking for my flamingo?”

It might not be time to clear space on the virtual mantelpiece, though, if the initial reviews are anything to go by. Mary McNamara’s piece in the Los Angeles Times is headlined “Tilly Norwood music video is so bad that it proves AI won’t be putting actors out of work any time soon*, while Techradar’s view is *Tilly Norwood’s music video is so bad that I think we can all breathe a sigh of relief – for now.”

Meanwhile, the view of the hoi polloi on YouTube, commenting on the video, includes “the best argument I’ve seen yet about how bad AI is”, “nerd CEOs really think we want this slop instead of a healthy water supply” and “on many levels, and no disrespect to anyone that put actual effort into this — this is the most offensive thing I’ve seen in a long, long time”.

“Behind the code, behind the light/I’m just a tool, but I’ve got life,” bleats Tilly. Oh no – surely poor old Keir Starmer’s dad isn’t implicated in this?