If I had a pound for every time I heard words to the effect of “men are in crisis”, I’d probably have enough to buy every man I’ve ever met a consolation pint. This, I’m sure, would be a real hoot. We could shoot the shit about all the things modern men are apparently obsessed with: protein, the stock market, the Roman empire and Andrew Tate (they’ll pretend to be disgusted).
Eventually, if the Gen Zs show up, the conversation may turn to “looksmaxxing”, the wave of extreme narcissism that is sweeping darker corners of the internet and convincing young men to prioritise personal appearance above all else. I, a woman who has been culturally conditioned since birth to prioritise personal appearance above all else, might even pick up some tips.
Or, I could just head over to Kick, the streaming platform where Clavicular, the king of the looksmaxxers, reigns supreme. With more than 150,000 followers, the 20-year-old has tapped into what he calls the “looksmaxxing gold rush”, selling a mentorship programme that includes a “facial analytics dashboard”, “structural training” and an “elite roster – 15 guys max, brutal honesty, shared intel” – whatever that means. (At the time of writing, applications for his programme appear to be closed.)
The incel demigod born Braden Peters is, however, better known for his wild antics on the internet. This includes, but is not limited to, claiming he takes crystal meth to stay lean, injecting his 17-year-old girlfriend with peptides on camera, and running someone over with his Cybertruck on Christmas Eve – also on camera.
He is callous, amoral and politically venal, having once said he’ll support whichever party gives him the “fattest bag”. But given his tendency to say “n****”, hang out with people who throw Nazi salutes and call vice-president JD Vance “subhuman”, his allegiances tend to skew far right. Last year, he appeared on white nationalist Nick Fuentes’s podcast. Last month, the pair were spotted at a Miami nightclub dancing to Kanye West’s widely banned track Heil Hitler, alongside Andrew and Tristan Tate.
Genuinely chilling. But for many observers, this isn’t the most shocking thing about Clavicular. Everyone is more concerned with the looksmaxxing culture over which he presides, largely thanks to the controversial techniques used by devotees to “surpass genetic potential”.
There’s the fairly self-explanatory “starvemaxxing”, “roidmaxxing” and “whitemaxxing”, alongside extreme cosmetic surgeries to increase height, and DIY solutions such as “bonesmashing” AKA whacking your face with a hammer in the hopes it will make your cheekbones sharper. Who cares if it hurts, drains your bank account, or genuinely endangers your life? To the looksmaxxers, being hot is life’s only worthy pursuit.
This, declared the Atlantic last month, “Reveals the Depth of the Crisis Facing Young Men”, suggesting social media, Covid, Donald Trump and widespread economic precarity as possible incubators for this particular “brand of nihilism”. But something else is happening here, a societal ill older than the internet and, indeed, the president of America himself. This is just misogyny.
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We have reached the Ouroboros stage of modern patriarchy, where the extreme beauty standards long normalised for women are being reimagined for male audiences. What shocks us about the men who engage in “looksmaxxing” is mostly rebranded self-improvement advice, which has been sold to women for decades.
Take the housewives of the 1950s and 60s, who relied on amphetamines to stay slim. Or the young women of the 2010s and 20s, who have gone under the knife for dangerous cosmetic procedures such as BBLs (Brazilian butt lifts), which have an estimated mortality rate of one in 4,000 procedures.
The average British woman spends around £70,000 on her appearance over her lifetime. Last year, the actor Shay Mitchell launched a skincare line aimed at little girls as young as three. Log on to any social media platform and you’ll quickly find videos of women doing their “morning shed” – that is, removing the layers of skincare products and face-tightening accessories they applied before going to bed.
We barely bat an eyelid at all this because women are supposed to put effort into their appearance. We need to look good because our original role in society was to be objectified, commodified and consumed. Then along came social media, which democratised that commodification process: all genders can and should participate if they want to maximise their chances of virality. Clavicular believes that looking good is the single most important thing someone can do to achieve success. Within the world he inhabits, he’s not entirely wrong.
The looksmaxxers, in their dogged determination to frame beauty as a noble and necessary pursuit, drop the pretence. Where women have been expected to be kind, smart, funny and interesting – rewarded for a no-makeup makeup, “I woke up like this”-style beauty – these guys are allowed to admit that their only goal in life is to be an object of desire.
Who exactly they want to be desired by is unclear. Mostly, it seems like they’re performing for other men. This is still a patriarchy, after all.
I don’t deny that the men are in crisis. But who isn’t? Everyone I know, of every gender, is scrambling for a solution, an escape, or a temporary lobotomy to numb themselves to this late-stage capitalist nightmare. Quitting jobs or moving abroad; filling the void with Botox, Hyrox and run clubs; screaming into pillows at night. There’s no need to go all alt-right about it.
Male reader, babe, put down the hammer. Let’s go for a pint, yeah?
Olive Pometsey is a freelance writer and editor whose credits include British Vogue, Elle and British GQ
