AI bosses keep saying ridiculous, hysterical and quite possibly true things about how they’re accidentally, probably, about to bring about the end of the world. But can you spot the real quotes actual rich, powerful people have said among the ones we just made up?
1) “We really do earnestly believe AI could kill all humans!”
2) “By helping fund its creation, our investors have a very real chance of being among the last to die.”
3) “I actually think we should have more paperclips. The metal in that empty can? Would be more useful serving as paperclips. That chair? Lot of good material for paperclips? That dog there? You get the picture.”
4) “I think that AI will probably, most likely, sort of lead to the end of the world. But in the meantime, there will be great companies created with serious machine learning.”
5) “The problem for America, from a national security perspective, is that if we don’t keep working to destroy humanity, China will get there first.”
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6) “Our vision is one of a world with no bills, no stress, no backbreaking labour, no poverty, and no trees.”
7) “Yes! Yes! Shake, Earth! This is a sign! We are in the final days! My time has come! Glory! Glory!”
8) “At long last, humanity will be finally able to solve a problem it’s been struggling with for centuries: wages.”
9) “Where we’re going, we won’t need flesh.”
10) “They probably do need the water more than you, though. Many people hardly contribute to shareholder value at all.”
11) “At long last, we will finally be free of the tyranny of actors, artists, musicians.”
12) “It will give the average worker more time to focus on the things that really matter – like looking for another job.”
13) “This will make your life so much worse! And then maybe end it.”
14) “Blessed be the Regulations. Do not think about the Event.”
15) “I just really, really think it would be better if you and your family were reprocessed as paperclips.”
16) “A superintelligent AI poses a threat on the same, possibly, a greater, scale to nuclear weapons.”
17) “There will still be an important role for humanities graduates! The world will always need protein.”
18) “Have you read Iain M Banks’s culture novels? The ones that portray a post-scarcity paradise, in which humans and super intelligent machines work together as equals? Well, it won’t be like that at all.”
19) “It doesn’t take as much imagination as it used to, to imagine how this could go wrong. I think the world is right to be afraid of this.”
20) “I think we all know, deep down, that the age of carbon-based life is over.”
21) “It can solve centuries-old maths problems like Fermat’s last theorem and how to build a multibillion-dollar company without needing to share the money with employees in a matter of hours.”
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22) “We’re essentially seeding a new silicon species which will no doubt compete with us for resources, no matter how much it cares for us and loves us.”
23) “Sometimes I really do feel like the machines talk to me in my sleep.”
24) “In July, the British economy unexpectedly grew 0.4%, all thanks to AI. That is surely worth some sacrifices.”
25) “The world should trust that we are going to do the right thing because it’s the right thing and we feel the magnitude of this.”
26) “It can’t be bargained with. It can’t be reasoned with. It doesn’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead. In the meantime, can I interest you in the prospectus for our IPO?”
27) “And then you’ll be sorry.”
The real ones, all from this month unless stated otherwise: 1) Evan Hubinger, Anthropic; 4) Sam Altman, OpenAI, June 2015; 16) former UK defence secretary Des Browne; 19) Sam Altman again, just this month; 22) Mustafa Suleyman, Microsoft; 25) Sam Altman again. If others feel familiar, there are also a couple of quotes from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Mitchell & Webb and The Terminator chucked in there somewhere, too.
