Why I took a ‘fucking bitch’ banner to the Renee Good vigil

Every mouthy woman I know has been called a “fucking bitch” at least once by a man enraged at the space we were taking up.  At our audacity to dare step out of the narrowly defined box they thought we belonged in.  

I spent Monday trying to get a t-shirt or baseball cap printed with “fucking bitch” on it,  then decided a banner that other women could hold up with me which would be a more powerful message.  As I went into Prontaprint in Camden, I thought I would have to explain the slogan and my rage and grief, and why I needed to show up with a sign reclaiming those words.  Instead, the owner charged me half price and told me it would be ready for me in an hour.

In that act of solidarity, he helped alleviate the fear I had of attending, of feeling unsafe at a protest and my alarm over possible Met Police and Embassy Security intervention.  He armed me with a powerful reminder of who I am and how loud I am capable of being.  

My work as an activist began when I tweeted about a vigil for Sarah Everard,  whose life was also taken by a man claiming to have the force of the law behind him. The Met Police forbade us from holding a moment of silence for Sarah and all women who had been affected by male violence, and in doing so violated our human right to protest as guaranteed by article 10 and 11 of the 1998 Human Rights Act. 

In the five years since Sarah’s murder and our victory over the Met Police in High Court; unsurprisingly because of the Met’s antagonistic and aggressive behaviour towards protestors, I have grown to fear crowds and police.  I watched from home as the Met illegally shut down coronation protests and went so far as to arrest anti-rape volunteers on its eve.

That’s all to explain how scary I now find it to attend protests.  But after watching video after video of Renee Nicole Good being murdered by ICE agent Jonathan Ross, I couldn’t stay home and not be counted.  Originally I received an invite to a Zoom call memorial by Democrats Abroad on Sunday in Good’s name and couldn’t help but scoff.  Please note, if I am ever killed and the response is a zoom call,  I will haunt you all. Thankfully, Indivisible London and Coalition to Stop Trump stepped up with an in-person vigil.

On Monday night, I was attending with Suzy Corrigan, a fellow American writer who comes from Minnesota.  As we arrived outside of the Embassy we were greeted by volunteers handing out candles and lyrics to John Lennon’s Imagine.  Thankfully, there were no Met police on site and no visibly armed presence of American Embassy guards.  

Suggested Reading

ICE are now murdering people in the street

James Ball

As I unfurled my “fucking bitch” banner, other women stood beside Suzy and I to hold the banner and listen to the organisers read all of the names of those humans killed by ICE agents in America.  Humans who have not had the press and outrage that Renee Nicole Good has had.  Humans whose murders have been largely ignored by the world.  

Portia Kamons of Stop Trump Coalition then read out Becca Good’s statement about her wife as I stood next to a fellow American and her British wife, who were holding my banner up with us.  As I sniffled through Becca’s statement talking about how Renee sparkled and was above all else kindness, the Mexican-American woman next to me handed me tissues.   

By this point, I was crying, juggling my puppy and tissues while the puppy tried to eat the “fucking bitch” banner and then the tissues.  Biggie, my puppy, provided light relief and was our collective emotional support animal.

Given that Renee’s dog was in the car while she was murdered, it seemed fitting. She would have approved of my holding a puppy while honouring her memory with a “fiucking bitch” sign.  

I think, if the roles were reversed, she would have stood outside in the snow with her dog and protested the removal of life and rights that Jonathan Ross took from her as she had stood as a legal observer for her neighbours after dropping her son at school.  Trump and ICE are removing those rights as well as the rights of due process from the American people.

Becca Good said, “we had whistles, they had guns.”  I can’t stop believing that our whistles and signs will eventually overcome those guns. Our humanity and community will outlive the hate and cruelty of this administration. 

For Sarah, for Renee, for every person who has been killed by law enforcement because they lived without that hate and fear.  For all of the fucking bitches out there, I stand with you.