Join UKIP - for only £12,000 a year

Want to join the UK Independence Party – which, unaccountably, still exists – but are worried that, at £30 a year, membership is just a little too cheap?

The party which, under armband-clad Nick Tenconi’s leadership has become a tiny, extreme-right Christian sect with a quirky reading of the Bible, has just introduced the UK12 tier of membership – an elite level of ‘Kipper which comes with a badge and costs just £1,000… A MONTH.

The party, whose members are not thought to number much into four figures these days, says the UK12 will “help us achieve our political goals in the build up to the 2029 general election”. For their £12,000 a year members will get a quarterly dinner with Tenconi, access to a WhatsApp group with UKIP leaders, biweekly Zoom meetings, a badge of the party’s new logo (which bears a remarkable similarity to the Iron Cross, the German military decoration for bravery widely associated with the Nazi period) and various other things most normal people would gladly part with 12 grand not to have.

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In his email to its dwindling number of members advertising the new tier, Tenconi actually leans into the party’s increasing extremism, writing: “With the rise of far-right extremism, racism and anti-Semitism now being legitimised by the ‘online right’ our importance and significance has increased even further.”

It comes as Ukip has made overtures to Rupert Lowe’s new Restore Britain party to join forces, Tenconi saying this week: “I have a number of questions for Rupert. 90% of his team know me and have my mobile number. Any one of them can call at any time to arrange a sit down with Rupert for us to discuss particulars of this incredibly exciting right wing alliance.”

Whether or not the pair team up depends on if Lowe’s party is prepared to cede to UKIP’s demands, with Tenconi saying “UKIP will not renegade [sic] on our position”. One of these is deporting Communists from Britain to North Korea, which might be a bit mad even for crackpot Lowe.